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A thousand apologies for being a bit late this time, truly. My only excuse is that a sudden burst of activity coincided with a spot of ill health. According to the doctor I eventually and reluctantly consulted, I have two unpleasant allergies. One is to cold, dry air, meaning that my throat contracts to the width of a chopstick every Tokyo winter. The other is to cedar pollen. Now this hasn't been a problem before, as Tokyo is far from overcrowded with trees of any kind. However, last year's extra long summer led to a bumper crop of cedar on the mountains around the city, and their pollen is brought in with every breeze! To my mind, it seems that my problem can be summer up by saying that I'm allergic to Japan! There seems to be only one cure for that, but more on that later. For now, let's get on with the latest look at what's been happening here in Japan.

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Remember the way some senile member of the ruling party supported group rape as proof of virility? Well, the warped ideas some Japanese males have about the gentler sex were yet again revealed for public derision following the trial of 15 Kokushikan University soccer team members for group molestation of a 16-year-old girl. Four of the 15 were recently found guilty and sentenced to -- you won't believe this -- one year in prison, suspended for three years. Why such a ridiculously lenient sentence? Well, according to the presiding judge at the Hachioji branch of the Tokyo District Court, "They bear heavy criminal responsibility as they committed the crime by taking advantage of the fact that the girl was in complete despair. However, they have apologized and shown deep remorse." The story is that this poor young girl, a first-year high school student, was held captive and sexually abused for around 7 hours at the condominium of one of the team members. But they apologised so everything's OK. Pardon? However, the prosecution can't be too upset, as they had only demanded a one-year prison term without suspension. Want to bet what sex the prosecutor is? Now the football club in question is one of the strongest university teams in Japan with a record of winning several tournaments, but I'm not saying that influenced the judge in any way. No, sadly, it is much more likely that he was just keeping in line with the 'traditional' view that the girl should have felt honoured to be molested by such men -- isn't that what girls are for? Well if I were that girl's father (always supposing he doesn't agree with the judge), then I would quietly bide my time but eventually make sure that none of the 15 ever played football ever again -- as well as doing my best to limit their parenting options as well! 

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The Americans, I believe, have a saying to the effect of 'If it's not broken, don't fix it'. I therefore look upon the governments plans to privatise the Post Office with some misgiving. In my opinion, Japan's Post Office is the best in the world. Not the cheapest, for sure, but incomparably better than most in the West. For example, I have only received someone else's mail once in the last 14 years. And I recall receiving 1 letter from London within less than 70 hours of the postmark time in London! What's more, they deliver New Year Cards on January 1st, despite that being the premier holiday on the Japanese calendar. However, to back up its decision to privatise, the government can point to the recent announcement that 'Japan Post's mail delivery service posted a ¥56.2 billion net loss in the April-September period of FY2004. (It blamed this, unsurprisingly and probably correctly on the growing popularity of email. Furthermore, an over-the-counter postal services company that is due to come into being following Japan Post's privatization recently sweetened the pill by announcing that it will operate post offices like convenience stores, These OTC postal centres (will they still be called post offices?) will offer services on behalf of a mail delivery company, as well as issuing certificates for local governments and selling concert and sports tickets, etc. All sounds very nice, and I must not let the hash some foreign governments have made with privatization (like British Railways, for example) cloud my judgement. Most privatizations here have gone rather well, and so why should it be true yet again. But still I worry . . .

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Many Western liberals, including, I am sad to say, that otherwise excellent magazine, The Economist, make a habit of insisting that just because Britain did away with the death penalty, so should everyone else This from a country where a senior police chief recently admitted that the police could cope with present crime levels! (Story) What's more, these preachers rarely let a thing like public opinion get in their way. No case of "but if that's what you genuinely want, OK", oh no. Well, just in case any of these "we know what's best for you' boys are reading this (which is extremely doubtful), let me refer them to a recent survey of Japanese public opinion, which indicated that support here for the death penalty presently stands at 81.4%. Vox Populi, Vox Dei, ah? What's more, this shows an increase in the measure's popularity, being the first time it has exceeded the 80% mark since 1999. Now as this page so often illustrates, crime is on the increase here, and so many might dismiss this figure as knee jerk reaction. However, the fact remains that hanging is more popular here than Mr Koizumi, immensely more popular than either Mr Bush or Mr Blair amongst their own voters.  I'm not saying that hanging is the reason Tokyo is such a safe city, but bearing in mind the state of the local gendarmes, it must be a factor!

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You know, despite trendy protests about globalisation, I can't help thinking that maybe the world would be a lot more peaceful if it was run by businessmen instead of politicians. I mean, look at Japan and China. You've got Beijing screaming about Japan's wartime atrocities and Tokyo screaming about China invading Japanese territory, all on a regular basis. You'd think there were no two nations less in tune in the whole world, right? If so, just take a look at the balance sheet. According to the Japan External Trade Organization, trade between Japan and China, excluding that involving Hong Kong, climbed 26.9% in 2004 from the previous year to a record $168.05 billion. That, I hasten to point out, is the 6th straight record-braking year! Talk about 'my beloved enemy'! The trade is mostly Japanese imports of high-priced electronics products such as personal computers and DVD-related products made in China, plus Chinese imports of parts and materials for Japanese companies in China. I remember a trendy black American comedian saying that the best way to cut street crime was to make every bullet cost a hundred dollars. Maybe the same crazy idea might work with warfare in general!

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Some people have some pretty strange ideas about Japan. I mean, just because Japan likes to deny the Nanjing Massacre ever took place, likes to claim that it engineered the Pacific War to save Asia from the West, and claims that the young girls it kidnapped to serve in military brothels were all eager volunteers, doesn't mean they're trying to avoid reality! So I can believe that many older Japanese must have been hurt when South Korean President Roh Moo Hyun indirectly criticized Japan for not fully acknowledging the past wrongdoings. The president said "The different attitude in Japan and Germany in handling their past history gives us a lot of lessons to learn. Japan should be candid about the past and, only by doing so would Japan move toward the future without being tied to the past." However, don't worry too much. The sort of people who might be upset by such words are actually immune. After all, he is 'just' a Korean, one of the 'Sangokujin' (a term used by Tokyo's governor that is sort of like Asia's answer to 'nigger'), and so who cares what he thinks!

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Sic Transit Gloria Mundi! Japan recently gained a new world record, when a 26.5-kilometer railway tunnel was completed in Aomori Prefecture in northeastern Japan. This instantly became the world's longest tunnel on land. However, as I indicated at the beginning, the glory will not last, for those ingenious Swiss, the Japanese of Europe, are due to open a 34.6-kilometer tunnel in the spring! The Aomori tunnel is part of the project to extend the Shinkansen 'bullet train' service to Japan's far north, and this might give the whole project a much longer-lasting record. You see, like many Shinkansen lines, this one is not expected or even likely to ever make a profit, or even pay for its construction. It is all part of the ruling party's efforts to make sure the rural voters stay happy and loyal. The extended Tohoku Shinkansen line, which will travel through some of Japan's bleakest and most dramatic countryside, may therefore become one of the world's most expensive white elephants. Remember what Nikita Krushchev said about politicians the world over? "They promise to build a bridge where there is no river." I suppose he must have know more about Japan than I thought!

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Not so long ago, I reported that Japan's immigration authorities were cracking down on the 'entertainment' sector as a source of human trafficking. Well, it now turns out that the authorities will have an unlikely ally in their efforts -- the Catholic church! It was recently announced by Japan's Foreign Ministry that Catholic churches in the Philippines will cooperate with Japan tightened immigration control on foreign entertainers entering Japan in an effort to fight human trafficking. Many in the islands still oppose the new measures, which some consider racist and others say punish only one side of the business. However, churches throughout the Philippines are expected to urge Filipino women not to accept offers of jobs as entertainers in Japan. In a statement by Manila Archbishop Gaudencio Rosales, it is appropriate for Japan to take the new measure and that the churches support it. Now of course the church supports any measure designed to stop or at least reduce the misery caused by Japan's ever growing thirst for 'cute' Asian ladies who can act impressed by some drunken, overweight salaryman, but it does seem a bit like the war on drugs. So long are there are addicts willing to pay, there will be criminals willing to grow & sell heroin or whatever. Likewise, so long as these glorified bordellos are allowed to operate so freely, as long as the Japanese male ego needs so much massaging, so the girls will continue to come!   

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Some people are clearly sick and tired at the way the local constabulary 'deals' with the local mafia, the Yakuza. Oh sure, every now and then there are televised police raids and a lot of small fish get netted, but there's no gang-busters here, I'm sad to say. Well, as I said, some folks have decided to punish the big fish in a practical way -- in their pockets! It all began when a South Korean student was shot dead by Japanese gangsters in October 2001. The poor kid was on his way home at a place where the gangsters were carrying out a revenge shooting against other gangsters. Three members of a gang affiliated to the Sumiyoshi-kai, one of Japan's 3 major underworld syndicates, have been given prison terms for the murder of the student. The head of the affiliated gang is wanted for murder of the student and is on the run, having been charged following a precedent-setting decision by the Supreme Court last year recognizing the responsibility of a syndicate boss who is not directly involved in committing a crime. Anyway, this wasn't enough for the dead boy's family, and so they are suing the Sumiyoshi-kai for ¥141 million (US$1.35 million) in damages. They are basing their case on the Supreme Court's ruling last November that the head of the Yamaguchi-gumi, Japan's biggest crime syndicate, had to pay damages for the killing of a police officer by members of an affiliated gang. Good luck to them! Now I have no idea if they will ever get a penny from these scumbags, who have operated with astonishing freedom here for far too long, but I'd like to think that this will show the hoods that they are, officially at least, not above the law, and also show Joe public that the law can be used for them and not just against them!

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Crime File

• Talk about compounding a crime. First, you 'marry' a 16-year-old girl in a fake ceremony; then you beat her to death; then you get a few friends together and burn her up! Sounds like a sick film plot, right? Well, it's the truth! In Tokyo's neighbouring prefecture of Chiba, the District Court recently sentenced a 23-year-old man to life imprisonment for beating to death a 16-year-old girl he had wed in a sham marriage and torching the body with friends in 2003. The killer had married the girl and adopted her family name in the hope of borrowing more money from moneylenders. However, he later became worried that she might one day disclose the real reason for the marriage, which might have got him into deep trouble, and so he killed her. Police did not reveal whether he provided any braaipacks (BBQ packs) when his friends helped him dispose of the body!

• One claim to fame Japan should be less than  proud of is its premier league status in the world of child porn. What's more, it isn't just sleazy little men in dirty raincoats doing it. Police here recently arrested 9 people including a former Yakult Swallows pitcher on suspicion of selling child porn videos and DVDs via the Internet. Others arrested included the president of a Yokohama-based video sales company and one of his executives. The arrests followed raids on 13 locations, including the place used to dub tapes and DVDs in Yokohama. Police suspect the 9 of obtaining porn videos featuring girls aged between 15 and 18, dubbing them and selling them for ¥5,000 to ¥8,000 (US$48-77) each to about 2,800 people, generating sales amounting to ¥190 million (US$1.82 million).

• Tax evasion is a worldwide phenomenon, but it recently acquired a distinctly Japanese twist. You see, an oil wholesaler in Sendai, Miyagi Prefecture, was recently raided by police on suspicion of evading more than ¥3 billion (US$28 million) in taxes. However, this wasn't a case of simple 'good' accounting, oh no. This firm tried another method, namely by illegally producing diesel fuel from fuel oil and other non-taxable oil products. It seems the reason these substances were non-taxable is because they are unsuitable, but why let that get in the way of profit!

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Not long ago, I reported on some of the controversial ideas the ruling Liberal Democratic Party (which is living proof Japan is not a meritocracy) wants included in a revised Japanese constitution. Well, don't go thinking that was the limit to their weird ideas. There's more! This shouldn't surprise anyone living here -- alarm but not surprise -- but the Liberal Democratic Party's constitutional panel plans to limit freedom of assembly and expression. Of course it doesn't come out and say so, preferring to hide these dictatorial ideas behind the idea of defending the people from obscenity. In their own words, "It should be permissible under the law to restrict or ban publication or sale of books that have a detrimental effect on young people's upbringing", which can have a variety of meanings -- like candid history books, for example. What's more, they want to get rid of the outcry about official visits to Shinto shrines that some claim break the constitutional ban on mixing politics and religion -- not by stopping the visits, of course, but by changing the constitution! They plan to propose allowing the authorities to be involved in Shinto ceremonies and fund them from the public purse, "as they belong to accepted social protocol." This might cut down on Japanese criticism of prime ministerial visits to the war-related Yasukuni Shrine in Tokyo, but it won't improve ties with Japan's neighbours -- but who cares about 'lesser races'? Oh, and to make sure no-one forgets this new constitution's real purpose, they propose that its preamble -- which they want  to Japanese history (selected portions, of course) and the national character of the Japanese people -- be memorized by students as part of their compulsory education. You know, the more I read about the LDP's constitutional ideas, the more relieved I am that I was born in a country that doesn't have a constitution! It also makes me determined that no child of mine will grow up in such a place!

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You know, you can privatise a company but sometimes, you just can't privatise the way it thinks. A fine example of this is JAL, Japan's national airline. For most of it's history, it was a very spoilt government property, with tales of pilots getting individual limousines to the airport helping to explain why it seemed so aloof and so unprofitable. Well, JAL  was officially privatised back in 1987 but it seems that many of its pilots still consider themselves something special, maybe even above the law. How else can you explain the incident that occurred back in January, when a Japan Airlines aircraft attempted to take off from an airport in Hokkaido without approval from air traffic control? Isn't that in 'Flying a plane 101'? Similarly, and as if to prove that the pilot was not considered to be at fault for so doing, it turns out that JAL did not report the incident to the authorities for nearly a month. Now, at long last, the Ministry of Land, Infrastructure and Transport has 'reprimanded' the company last week for failing to report the incident. Reprimand? I wonder what would have happened if a foreign airline had tried such a thing? Then again, not even some of the cowboy operations that pass for airlines and serve Japan would have tried such a thing, knowing they lacked JAL's apparent immunity. So next time you fly JAL (if you must), don't be surprised if you head for the taxiway a little early. After all, what does air traffic control know about anything?

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It's always difficult when one's children leave home to go and lead their own lives, but it isn't usually such a problem for royals. However, living up to its usual standards of sexism, Japan's imperial family are a different case. As you may recall, 35-year-old Princess Nori recently became engaged to a Tokyo government official named Yoshiki Kuroda. Now due to the medieval rules that govern such things here, when an imperial daughter marries an outsider, she has to leave the family, both officially and physically. So the princess has been looking for a new home and according to rumours (which are our only source of news, thanks to the dinosaurs of the 'Imperial Household Agency'), her first married home will be on the 40th floor of a high-rise apartment building in Akihabara, Tokyo's famous electrical shopping centre. However, the wedding (which is expected to take place in the autumn) is just one of the ceremonies she will have to go through in the neat future. Amongst these is the charming "yuino," the ceremonial exchange of gifts between the engaged couple and their families, which will occur soon after this page goes online, and a ceremony where the bridegroom will go to the Imperial Palace and formally offer his hand. However, a bit later comes the rather strange farewell ceremony, when she officially parts from her parents. However, bearing in mind the trauma her sister-in-law has undergone since joining the family, this might not be a bad thing! However, returning to her choice of home, you might be surprised to think of a princess living in a flat, but don't forget -- she'll be outside the Imperial family, almost one of us! Anyway, flats are preferred for a number of reasons, such as security, location, and access to public facilities such as hospitals, libraries and parks. Sounds a bit mundane? Well, don't forget we are talking about a working woman (she works at a bird sanctuary in Chiba Prefecture) and she will be commuting by JR -- with her bodyguard, of course, but he won't be able to do much if the train is typically overcrowded! What's more, don't go thinking that the taxpayer will foot the bill for her home. Being 'only' a woman, she will be living off her own and her husband's income from now on, with no official help. Her husband is a civil servant and so he cannot afford anything grand. Her marriage dowry is about US$1.5 million, and is meant to last the first 10 years of her married life. Bit different to the tabloid favourites in the British royal family, ah? One thing that worried some folk was that while Akihabara is predominantly an electronics district, it is also home to a large number of 'adult entertainment stores', many of which openly advertise on the streets. But never fear. In anticipation of Princess Nori's arrival, the area seems to have been almost flooded with uniformed and plain clothes police, and as a result, such signs have almost completely vanished. One final note. Just in case you're worried about future mishaps or disagreements, don't -- these have been taken into account. If she has a nasty row with her new hubby and wants to go back to mummy, the Imperial Palace is only about one kilometre away! 

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Tokyo's revered governor, whose quotes would fill a non-PC book, recently turned from bashing the Chinese to bashing his other bête noir, the Americans. As if to prove that he has never heard of the proverb about "people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones", Governor Shintaro Ishihara intends to ask US military facilities in the city to reduce carbon dioxide emissions to curb global warming. "We can't allow US military facilities in Tokyo to do something that goes against the environment," Ishihara told the Tokyo Metropolitan Assembly. A noble concept, no doubt, but in a city like this, it does ring of 'Do as I say, not do as I do'. This is Tokyo, where one regularly sees unattended parked cars with their engines running, and where small factories line almost every motorway, fouling the air, both sins completely ignored by the police. I'm sure that dealing with just these two problems would have a much, much bigger impact on the global environment than curbing the fumes produced by the US presence within Tokyo, which is surprisingly small. OK, the US military did tell the Japanese government last year that the boilers at Yokota Air Base consume some 2,700 kiloliters of diesel oil each month, but how much is that, globally speaking? Maybe we could find out how much diesel oil is consumed within even one of the 23 wards that come under Mr Ishihara's benevolent rule . . . 

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Say That Again . . .

During my years in Japan, I have too often been able to judge how good or otherwise the local doctors are. I didn't have a high opinion of doctors back home and my time here has not changed that view, which seems to be to be supported by at least one other.  I recently read a comment by a local medical journalist who said:
"Medical licenses are based on a system of points scored on written exams and take no account of whether the person in question is actually fit to become a doctor. "
It must be said that the American system is prevalent here, meaning that house calls are almost as rare as chicken's teeth and every doctor is a specialist in something or other -- allegedly, that is.

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The fascist tendencies of those sadly placed in charge of education here have yet again come to the surface. I refer to the recent quote from Japan's Education minister, who said:  
"If children are not taught to pledge allegiance to the national flag and anthem, they will feel ashamed and ridiculed when they go abroad."
 This is the kind of comment that inspired the great Dr Johnson to describe patriotism as "the last
refuge of a scoundrel." If patriotism has to be taught, then maybe it won't be patriotism. For me, respect for one's country is like any other form of respect -- it has to be earned!

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According to some, one of the unforeseen problems caused by Japan's aging society is the number of younger people 'forced' to care for their increasing fragile elders. This is not pleasant for neither party, and so it isn't too surprising that one temple has spotted this 'market niche' Nara's Kichidenji temple is said to be a good place for the elderly to pray for a peaceful exit from this world, for as one recent worshipper noted:
"Our family doesn't say anything, but they think it would be better to see us die suddenly instead of facing the need to nurse us. " 
The breakdown of the old close-knit family, the lack of any real welfare (despite European style taxes) and a growing number of elderly relatives is not a recipe for a bright future, methinks!

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It's not just the religious business that has spotted a market amongst the greying masses.  The toy company Tomy has come out with a very popular range of dolls for elderly people who live alone. The talking dolls act as companions which can sleep next to people and offer caring words they may never hear otherwise. As the designer noted:
"The market for this doll overlaps with the market for dogs, cats and other pets. " 
It seems very sad and rather hypocritical for this to happen in a nation that annually celebrates 'Respect for the Aged Day', but that's Japan for you -- form over substance every time!

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Most of my regular readers will know of my opinion of Japan's constabulary, but in case you think I am too harsh on the boys in blue, think on this -- I am not alone. None other that our own Prime Minister recently expressed his anger on seeing a TV report showing a police officer fleeing from a bat-wielding man at the scene of a traffic accident in Tokyo. He went on to say:
"I couldn't believe it when the police officers fled instead of trying to seize the suspect when he came at them. " 
Couldn't believe it? Really, Mr Koizumi sir. You need to get out more and smell the coffee!

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Sure enough, some home truths are genuinely global, unaffected by culture or creed. One was recently spoken by the 32-year-old director the horror film "Juon" and its US remake, "The Grudge", who said :
"Women are the most incomprehensible beings. If you underestimate them, they can ruin your life."
 Hard to disagree with that, but to discover the truth so young!

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Those of us who are old enough to have grown up in non-PC days might remember a children's book called "The Story of Little Black Sambo," by British author Helen Bannerman. She wrote the book during a trip to India and it was published in the late 19th century, when the title didn't seem at all offensive. It was published in Japan in 1953 by Tokyo-based Iwanami Shoten Publishers under the Japanese title "Chibikuro Sambo" (Little Black Sambo). However, printing was halted in 1988 due to protests that it encouraged racism against black people. But now, it seems that black people are less easily offended, for the book is to go on sale again early next month, with its Tokyo-based publisher Zuiunsha claiming to have received many orders. Now before anyone thinks I am simply labelling the Japanese as racist, let me point out that anti-racist defence of the book is somewhat justified. Yes, it is true that the term "sambo" has become a derogatory term in the United States for black people, but this book was written in India, where 'sambo' generally refers to a child's name. It must also be pointed out that the actual story does not demean or insult the boy -- quite the opposite! For those who haven't read it, the story tells of a boy named Little Black Sambo who meets a tiger which takes away his red coat, blue trousers and purple shoes, but this resourceful boy later use his wits to regain the clothes. So is re-publishing the book a racist move? I genuinely think not. Is it a careless act, made without regard for the feelings of others? That is quite possible! 

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There's a lot of talk about minimum hourly wage and what have you, but how about making ¥2 million (US$19,000) an hour? Think I'm crazy, right? Well consider the case of one of Japan's newest TV 'stars', actress Yukie Nakama, she is the star of Nippon TV's Saturday night drama "Gokusen", which tells the story of an unfashionable high school teacher in charge of a class of delinquents. For this, our Miss Nakama is paid ¥2 million an episode. The reason she is valued so highly is that the drama's audience figures recently reached a record high of 27.3%, and many say that she is what keeps it above the 25% mark. Like many other TV nations, Japan's stars are paid according to their ratings, and so fees can range from ¥3 million (US$28,600) an episode down to ¥800,000 (US$7,627) an episode. However, the remarkable thing about this lady's salary is that it has come at a time when all the TV stations are cutting costs, thereby revealing just how valuable her 'talents' are to NTV. Of course, such peaks in popularity never last and so it is to be hoped that her financial talents are equal to her visual ones! 

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What with Confucian respect for elders and the once-a-year 'Respect for the Aged' national holiday, one hardly expects to read about old people lying dead in their homes for weeks here in Japan. Well, try over five years! I'm not joking.   Kyujiro Kanaoka, officially the oldest man in Hyogo Prefecture, was found dead at his home, the body already mummified after lying there for five to 10 years after his presumed death, police said. After being honoured as the oldest resident, the local mayor made a point of visiting the aged gentleman every year in September, but his family refused any further meetings, saying he was bedridden. This, and the long period that has elapsed since his actual death, has led Police to question the man's family, suspecting they failed to report the man's death, to say the least. The strange thing is that he lived with a son, 75, and two daughters, 79 and 72. So didn't they notice their dad was dead? Well, it seems that the son was quoted as making nonsensical comments to the police that he did not think his father was dead but that he would have a full life if a funeral was held in March in the Year of the Rooster in the Chinese zodiac, which is this year. Maybe that's why they didn't tell anyone, thinking that delaying the funeral would somehow prove beneficial. Rather late for such sentiments, I'd have thought.

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Some folks here must be doing something right, because according to the latest survey of the world's billionaires by Forbes magazine, there are 24 Japanese who fit into the exclusive bracket. This includes one new billionaire and two who had slipped into the begging bowl millionaire category but have now recovered their former status. However, it must also be remembered that 14 Japanese slipped off the billionaire list this year. What's more, spare a thought (maybe) for Yoshiaki Tsutsumi. Back during the 'Bubble' days in in 1990, this property tycoon was officially the richest man in the world, worth an estimated $16 billion. This year, he's slipped down to No. 167, and his wealth has shrunk to $2.8 billion. As if that were not bad enough, he is also being investigated for fraud and faces the very real prospect of being sent to jail! The list of Japan's richest includes a few other controversial figures, such as 47-year-old Masayoshi Son, the head of the Softbank company. However, as that company is making enemies much better than its makes money (which it is currently losing), he may leave the list in a while. Others on the list include Akira Mori (whose family business owns most of central Tokyo's best known office blocks), 56-year-old Tadashi Yanai (head of a chain of discount clothing stores, which I regularly use), and, quite surprisingly, 74-year-old Han Chang-Woo. This gentleman is the founder and chairman of Maruhan Corp., the largest chain of pachinko parlours in Japan. (Pachinko = a mind-numbing version of bagatelle played by almost every Japanese salaryman every weekend). I say surprisingly because Mr Han, whose ancestry is clearly not Japanese, is trying to move pachinko away from its old image of tax evasion and mafia ties, and his firm is set to be the first pachinko parlour chain to be listed in the Tokyo Stock Exchange. So who, I hear you cry, is top dog? Who is Japan's richest man? That title belongs to Nobutada Saji, the president of Suntory Ltd, who is credited with having $5.8 billion. With all that money, you'd think his boys could make a better tasting beer ('Suntory Malts' competes with Budweiser as my least favourite brew), and certainly improve their rugby team!

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Regular readers will know that I do not have an excessively high opinion of the ruling Liberal Democratic Party, and this is true. Partly this is because they are undoubtedly the world's biggest political misnomer, but also because they look upon power as their birthright, with no responsibilities attached. An example of this arrogance was recently reported when a 40-year-old LDP House of Representatives member publicly apologized and vowed never to drink again after tendering his resignation as a lawmaker. Why this seemingly humble and contrite behaviour? Well, he had just been arrested for pressing himself against a woman in her 20s and indecently touching her on a street in the Roppongi entertainment district. Nice behaviour, ah? Sadly, the woman withdrew her criminal complaint (possibly approached by his colleagues with some monetary or less pleasant inducements) and he was released, but his resignation seems to suggest her complaint was justified. His excuse was that he had drunk more than usual that night — a bottle of wine, a few bottles of beer and half a bottle of shochu. Now in other, more mature democracies, this sort of thing might seriously hurt the party at the ballot box, but unfortunately, many Japanese voters seem to agree that power is the LDP's by right and so failing their turning the imperial palace into a racetrack, nothing they do is likely to seriously reduce their support. Maybe people really do get the government they deserve!

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Just over a week after this page goes online, Japan's latest white elephant will open its gates to the public. I refer, of course, to the 2005 Aichi Exposition. Now at first, this might seem to be an admirable six-month-long paean to safeguarding the environment, publicly supported by our revered Prime Minister. However, before the public rushes to visit the Expo, let's just remember who's paying for this extravaganza -- that's right, the taxpayer, who will have to stump up around ¥1.8 trillion. Now I know that officials are predicting around 15 million visitors — equal to around one out of every eight Japanese. However, 3 million of these will be guests, i.e., non-paying. Should the projected number of attendees fail to materialize, which seems as likely as sunshine in August, then its the poor dumb taxpayer who will have to make up the shortfall. Nice thought, ah? To try and encourage visitors, getting around within site can be accomplished using the revolutionary maglev train -- which will cost ¥107.5 billion. Before riding on this expensive marvel, visitors will have reached the site via an 820 meter-long six-lane highway (¥60 billion) and a 73-kilometer-long access road (¥670 billion), or via the four-lane Sanage Green Road linking the site from the Yakusa interchange (¥21.8 billion). According to one notable critic of the Expo (and there are many), funding for the Expo fell short by 10 billion. What's more, although it was initially, expected that 120 countries would participate, not all of these did, and 70% of those who stayed the course are poor countries, which means, of course, that the Japanese government had to subsidize the costs for these facilities. Will I be going to the Expo? Most certainly not! However, I doubt if I or anyone else here will easily forget this scheme, for even after the Expo officially closes in 6 months time, the ghost town of huge pavilions and access roads will be fitting reminders of the bill that will lie heavily on Japan's taxpayers for a long time to come!

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Gaijin's Tip:

'Japanese often seem astounded whenever a gaijin uses chopsticks with any degree of dexterity. However, don't get angry or upset if they seem surprised that you can use chopsticks as well as a 3-year-old Japanese child. Take praise where you can get it!'
(For more like this, please visit the 'Gaijin's Guide to Living in Japan')

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Gaijin's Where-to-Go

'If you feel like doing some unusual shopping, why not pop over to the Kappabashi shopping district, where there dozens of shops selling food-and-beverage equipment, including those plastic food models used outside restaurants. So if you feel like owning a truly plastic pizza or some fake sushi, head over to Tawaramachi Metro station and have a ball!'

(For more suggestions, check out the 'Gaijin's Guide to Enjoying Tokyo')