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Sorry to be late, folks, but as my regular reader (god bless you, madam) knows , I was away on my hols. I was sampling the delights of Thailand, and that lovely country has more delights than I can count. So if Thailand is so lovely, why am I back again in Japan? Because, as Willie Sutton the bank robber said when asked why he robbed banks, 'that's where the money is'. Sad but true. However, one thing amongst others this trip taught me was the con job CNN has done here. Now CNN International is a fine news channel, as is CNN Asia -- which is what I watched in Thailand. However, these are NOT what we get here. No, we get a rip-off called 'CNNJ', which is supposedly CNN Japan, but it isn't. It is simply the CNN you see in the US -- domestic CNN. Now I'm sure this is highly entertaining if you live within the 50 states, but here in Japan, it is (to say the least) irrelevant. However, the only other foreign TV news we can get is 'BBC World', which seems to think that Asia begins with Pakistan and ends with Bangladesh! No wonder the Japanese are so internationally naive! Anyway, for better or for worse, I'm back in Japan for the festive season, and after wishing you all the very best for the festive season, let's get on with this belated look at Japan's news.

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One Japanese export, and a highly successful one at that, which I just cannot stomach is the cartoon character 'Hello Kitty'! Unfortunately, it isn't only exported, it is also seen everywhere here in Japan -- I even saw a suitcase with a moulded image of the damn'd feline at Narita airport, and it was being used by someone allegedly an adult! However, buying a doubtless overpriced suitcase with HK on is one thing -- spending over £54,000 for a HK souvenir is quite another. I'm not joking! Down in the 2nd city, Osaka, where I'd have thought they had more sense, Mitsukoshi department store recently sold a platinum, diamond-studded figurine of Hello Kitty for the equivalent of US$102,000. The figurine, which measures 4.1 cm (1.6 in.) tall and was dressed in a queen's outfit studded with 250 diamonds, was produced to celebrate the 30th birthday of the famous white cat with no mouth. Now here comes the irony. The owner of this annoying brand, Sanrio, is facing sever financial problems and expects to drop into the red this year! So whoever it was that benefited from the mentally unsound purchase in Osaka, it was them! Two things are evident from this strange tale. Firstly, that Japan's economy is a lot healthier than you might think, The second thing? That maybe we should worry when the world's number 2 economy includes big spenders with inconceivably more money than sense!

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Many people have the image of Japanese people as being a race of workaholics, a race who divide their life between work and sleep. Now although this image may not be as close to the truth as it once was, the average worker here still puts in a lot of hours.  What's more, the Japanese Government has decided against trying to change that image. You see, not long ago, the Japanese Government announced that it was going to bring average annual working hours below 1,800 hours, as part of its drive to encourage employees to take more paid days off. It was prompted to try this by what it called better employment conditions in Japan. However, as many cynics predicted, such a cut has proved a lot more difficult than expected. Indeed, the government recently announced that it will scrap that target, claiming that targeting average working hours had become meaningless due to an increase in the number of part-time workers. Now it is indeed true that Japan has a growing number of part-time and temp workers, but this argument still sounds pretty weak, don't you think? Like a guy promising to climb Everest and then saying he won't because he doesn't feel like it! However, to be fair, it is a truly Herculean task to get some Japanese to take time off, with some companies having to really pressure them even to take a summer vacation! However, I can't help thinking that maybe the government could, to quote my old school reports, 'try harder'.

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News from America often includes stories of celebrities having to pay huge sums to end long-term romances, and many thought that surely Japan would be exempt from such trends. However, a local lady recently tried to change this. Needless to say, she didn't succeed, but the fact that she even tried says a lot. The 47-year-old woman's efforts were ended by the Supreme Court who ruled that her claims for compensation for suffering emotional distress after her former partner suddenly ended their relationship of about 16 years and married another woman were invalid. This followed a lower court ruling in her favour, ordering her former lover to pay ¥1 million, claiming that breaking the relationship constituted arbitrary betrayal of hopes that the relationship would continue. The lady, a university professor, was suing a 49-year-old salaryman whom she met in 1985. They became engaged but even though they cancelled their engagement the following year, they continued their relationship and had 2 children, although they didn't live together. 'Common law marriages', where a couple live together without actually getting married, are given more legal rights than in many other countries, but the judges ruled that this relationship did not constitute a common law marriage. Justice Kazuko Yokoo, who presided over the case, cited the circumstances, including their separate residence and livelihood, and the fact that they never lived together or shared common property, plus the fact that the woman also received a considerable amount for her childbirth and chose not to be involved in raising the children. He also noted that there was no evidence the 2 agreed to continue their relationship. So Hollywood-like court cases, with girlfriends getting millions after being dumped, have yet to succeed in Japan, which may be a good thing. However, like so many other Western trends, I'm willing to bet this is merely a delay.

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A good way of dealing with the Japanese who vocally oppose the presence of American military bases in Japan is to ask them about Japan without those bases. As Japan cannot recruit nearly enough soldiers even with the US help, it follows the shortfall would be even bigger if the US were to leave, so how could they fill the ranks? The dreaded word 'conscription' usually makes these unrealistic nationalists come to their senses and realise that unpleasant as having foreign bases might be, it is better than the alternative. I was reminded of this argument by a recent report from the Defence Agency which estimated that it would need at least 162,000 ground troops to defend Japan in the case of an attack by terrorists, guerrillas or special forces of other states. rising to 170,000 to effectively respond to a massive earthquake or other disasters in the country. Now unsurprisingly, this is in sharp disagreement with the bean counters of the Finance Ministry, who want to cut the Ground Self-Defense Force by about a quarter, down to 120,000. What does the nation's safety matter so long as the government can still pump money into the inefficient rice farmers and other vote-buying areas? It reminds me of the situation in Britain, where the government keeps making commitments for the military whilst it also plans to savagely cut numbers. Didn't these politicians go to school? Don't they know that if you've only got enough paint for a 5 square metres, you can't plan to paint the whole house? I suppose they were too busy studying 'feather your own nest 101'!
Footnote: Just in case you think my use of the threat of conscription is a little unreal, think on this. The government is considering revisions to Japan's famously pacifist constitution, and it was recently reported that some members of the ruling Liberal Democratic Party had opposed a proposed ban on compulsory military service in Japan, as stipulated in the party's draft outline for the Constitution. To hell with making military service more attractive!
Footnote: Just in case the guys in the Japanese military decide that Iraq's too dangerous for soldiers, as some of them seem to have already decided, one Japanese lawmaker has a suggestion. The Secretary General of the ruling LDP has said it would be a good idea to send delinquent students and people liable to commit crimes to the southern Iraqi city of Samawah as members of the Self-Defense Forces for 3 months to correct their behaviour. Hey, it's not a completely bad idea! Let's not forget how many of the heroes at Waterloo or Gettysburg were there to avoid jail!

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Just to prove that this page isn't all doom and gloom, here comes a distinctly 'ahhhh' story, a true case of technology being used in a good way. It seems that there is a 34-year-old female dolphin named Fuji residing in an Okinawa aquarium who was stricken by a mysterious disease in 2002, and so, to save her life, vets had to amputate 75% of her tail with an electronic surgical knife. Following this, she was much less agile and grew tired very quickly. So, a few weeks after the surgery, a vet at the aquarium asked a friend at Bridgestone, Japan's largest tyre maker, for help. The result was the world's first artificial fin! Now like any other medical technology, it wasn't all that simple. "The most difficult part was creating the smooth texture of rubber so as not to scratch a dolphin's skin," said the Bridgestone spokesman. The company began working on the fin in 2003, but several prototypes were either too heavy or loose for Fuji, who is 271 centimetres long and weighs 227kg. "Only after we created the lightest fin in August 2004, we received a call from the aquarium that Fuji finally jumped," the spokesman said. Even then, Fuji initially rejected the artificial fin, which is kept in one piece by bolts and currently weighs 2kgs and measures 48 centimetres wide. "She was so scared of the object. It took us five months to make her get used to the artificial fin. Now she is perfectly fine with it," he said. Now to really give this story a happy ending, I am pleased to report that Bridgestone donated the artificial fin to the aquarium, even though it had cost the company about ¥10 million (US$96,000) to develop. Well done, Bridgestone, and thanks for making reading the news a little less depressing!

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Harajuku is a famous Tokyo fashion area that attracts thousands of often oddly clad teenagers and others every weekend. It's overpriced stores and restaurants seem to do a roaring trade whatever the economists say, but that area may soon have another 'attraction' -- one that should encourage the aforementioned teenagers to behave themselves! You see, the Tokyo metropolitan government recently announced a plan to build a new 25,000 sq. metre police station with cell space for 300 detainees right near Harajuku railway Station. The site is presently occupied by a university, but as this plans to relocate, leaving the authorities with room to play with. However, Tokyo's teens needn't panic just yet, as many local residents are objecting to having a jail in their midst, unsurprisingly when you remember the sky-high rents in that area! Now this doesn't worry me too much, as I am neither young enough nor rich enough to be a regular visitor to that area, but with the local constabulary being the painfully powerful body it is, this extra capacity to hide away those who upset it is rather worrying. 

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Crime File

• Sadly, amongst the Japanese using mobile phones to send text messages are some pretty nasty criminals. This was revealed in a recent case, when a 7-year-old girl was kidnapped in Heguri, Nara Prefecture. The kidnapping was revealed when her mother received a text message on her cell phone, which noted, "I've got your daughter," police said. A photo of the unfortunate girl, a first-grader at an elementary school, was attached to the text message. She went missing after telling her mother via mobile phone that she would go to a volleyball practice. She left the school at around 1 p.m., and a fellow elementary school pupil saw an unknown man drive away with her in his car shortly before 2 p.m. The mother tried to reach her by mobile phone but could not. A few hours later, the poor mother received the text message sent from her daughter's phone at around 8 p.m. after she reported to the police that her daughter did not return home. The kidnapper didn't demand a ransom, the police said. Sadly, the poor girl's body was later found in a roadside ditch some 6 kilometres away from her home, dressed in the same clothes that she had worn to school. Her phone and bag were not found.

• Remember the line about hell having no fury like a woman scorned? Well, one Japanese chap found out how true this is. I refer to the case in Saitama where an 18-year-old girl was sentenced to 5 to 10 years in prison for arranging the murder of her former boyfriend by her gangster lover. It seems that this somewhat vindictive young lady suggested to former gangster Hidenori Ogata that he should kill her 28-year old former lover -- when she was only 16 years old. To say that she had matured quickly is putting it mildly.

• You know, despite having been a student once myself (way back in the stone age), I often find them very hard to understand. Take, for example, one of the latest guests of the police. This 19-year-old freshman at the University of Tottori was recently arrested for putting a message on an Internet discussion board under the name of al-Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden, threatening to blow up Tokyo Tower and buildings in the Kasumigaseki (civil service) and Akihabara (high-tech appliance shopping). As a result of his English language message, some places in Tokyo went on full alert and increased the number of guards for a week or so. Then police received an anonymous report via the Metropolitan Police Department's website, and so now the sick little sod is where he belongs!

• Police often have to face criminals using somewhat unusual weapons and Japan is no exception. Take, for example, the recent case involving a 19-year-old man who surrendered to police in Mito, Ibaraki Prefecture after allegedly killing his parents by smashing their heads with -- wait for it, wait for it -- an iron dumbbell! Police report that he told them he had killed his 51-year-old father and 48-year-old mother by hitting them on the head with a 4kg iron dumbbell while they were asleep. So why did he do it? The suspect allegedly told the police he meant to kill everyone in the family because he had been criticized by his parents and grandfather for not doing anything after he graduated from high school last spring, but after killing his father and mother he lost the strength to kill the others, police said. After slaying his parents, the suspect told his sister not to go upstairs. The 2 stayed in the living room for a while, and the suspect then left home and went to a nearby convenience store, police said. However, this wasn't really an 'out of the blue' attack, as the youth had tried to attack his family with a kitchen knife last year, although they didn't report the incident to the police because nobody was injured. Just goes to show that an attack is an attack no matter whether it's successful or not!

• Talk about the biter bit! Over in Shizuoka Prefecture, a lady employee of a moneylender arrived at the office to find that 2 safes containing a total of ¥100 million (US$960,154) in securities and ¥11.4 million (US$109,458) had been taken. I suppose that means the local suckers will paying even higher rates of interest now!

• Refreshing to see that not all of Japan's youth are deadbeats, that the spirit that rebuilt post-war Japan is still there -- sort of. Did you hear about the 14-year-old boy arrested in Tokyo's largest ward, Setagaya, for forging ¥1,000 bills? Seems he used a scanner and personal computer, plus directions gleaned from an article in a magazine bought via the Internet. Police also detained 3 other boys at the same school on suspicion of passing the fake bills, with some saying they forged more than 100 bills and passed 80 of them. I suppose they took their parents talk of making money too literally!

• Obtaining a gun in Japan is pleasingly difficult, but the locals are nothing if not adaptable. So it was that a 34-year-old man in Kitakyushu was recently arrested on suspicion of shooting his girlfriend's 3-year-old daughter with an air gun. Police  said that she has fallen into a coma. Joking aside, this seems to be a true merde we have here, for he claims he abused the girl as she did not obey him. What's more, his girlfriend's 4-year-old son has bruises on his body, leading the police to suspect that he has also abused him. I can think of few who deserve a Japanese jail more than he!

• Easy come, easy go, seems to be the motto of a bunch of kids down in Hiroshima. Police report that 5 boys aged 16 and 17 years old were arrested on suspicion of breaking into their friend's house in Hiroshima and stealing a safe containing ¥110 million (US$1,056,169) in cash last May. Ordinary enough, sure, but then we read that the boys, 4 of whom are high school students, spent all the money in 4 months, making trips to Osaka and Tokyo, going on spending sprees and getting their drivers' licenses. See what I mean? Makes one worry about how much pocket money is enough, ah?

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Japan has many controversial aspects but its continued addiction to whale hunting, which it cowardly hides behind the phrase 'scientific research', is one of the most unpopular overseas. However, every time you mention this subject to even reasonable and cosmopolitan Japanese, they come back with the stale old arguments that whalemeat is part of Japanese culture and remains popular with all Japanese consumers. Well, next time you hear that lame response, remind them of the British supermarket giant Tesco. What's the link? Well, Tesco recently announced that its recently acquired Japanese stores would stop selling all whale products. Now it is true that more than 1,500 people recently signed an online petition calling on Tesco to stop stocking such products in Japan, but the company reports that this is not the reason for this locally controversial decision. So why is it stopping? Simple. It's all "due to a lack of customer demand." Strange if whalemeat is such an integral part of Japanese culture, if Japanese consumers are all screaming for a whalemeat meal! No, I'm afraid it's the same old story, with the Japanese using an argument they've been taught by the government, without even thinking about its validity. Just as they once tried to tell us that Japanese stomachs couldn't digest foreign beef (although McDonald's seems to be doing pretty well here), so the consumers obediently quote what they've heard their masters tell them. Remind them of this in a few years time, when (hopefully) Japan will have finally ceased whaling, and they will doubtless deny they ever said such a thing, but right now, they cling to this blatantly ludicrous contention.

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Talking of the US military bases here (as we were a few paragraphs ago), Japan's most famous American soldier recently returned to the headlines again. Charles Jenkins, the US Army sergeant who crossed over into North Korea back in 1965, was released from a military jail at the US Navy Yokosuka Base in Kanagawa Prefecture, six days short of his 30-day confinement sentence on account of good behaviour. He was reunited with his Japanese wife Hitomi Soga, 45, at the US Army's Camp Zama also in Kanagawa Prefecture, where he was taken by helicopter after leaving the Yokosuka jail. Jenkins claimed that he would like to stay in Japan " if they will accept me." He added that "I want to go back to the United States, but only once." The Japanese government, which had pressured the US to treat Jenkins leniently, pledged full support for the family. If the family does indeed stay permanently in Japan, they can receive ¥300,000 (US$2,880) per month for 5 years in special allowances under a law to support victims of North Korean abduction. Jenkins, a native of North Carolina, moved with his family to the island of Sado, his wife's home, where the local mayor has arranged with Niigata University to teach his daughters the Japanese language. This case has received a great deal of attention in Japan for although Jenkins went to North Korea 'voluntarily' (to avoid an imminent posting to Vietnam), his wife was abducted from Sado Island to North Korea in 1978, where she married Jenkins 2 years later. Now many Americans have said that Jenkins deserved a harsher sentence, but I for one disagree. For one thing, what could a plain sergeant do to help the North Korean war machine that would merit a treason charge, as some demanded? Secondly, spending almost 40 years in Pyongyang sounds like a tough enough punishment for almost any offence!

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The treatment given Jenkins and his family arriving from Korea is very different to that given to Japan's former Korean subjects, with the oh-so obedient courts continuing to toe the government's line. The latest example of this came when the Supreme Court dismissed a damages suit against the Japanese government filed by Korean wartime sex slaves and former Korean soldiers forced to serve the Japanese military during World War II. The 35 plaintiffs, who included bereaved family members, were somewhat naively seeking ¥20 million (US$192,031) in compensation each for their wartime sufferings. The presiding judge defended the move by saying it was based on judicial precedents, adding that  "Compensation for damages caused by Japan during war is an unforeseen issue under the current Japanese Constitution." I'm willing to bet that all this talk about revising the constitution does NOT include allowing for any such compensation!
Footnote: I was surprised but pleased to read that back in early December, the Chief Cabinet Secretary actually apologized to 2 former sex slaves for Japan's sexual violence against them during World War II. To be exact, Hiroyuki Hosoda told the former sex slaves from South Korea and the Philippines, "I apologize from the bottom of my heart for the disgrace to women's dignity during the war." It's a good start, but the journey's far from over.

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Whilst I was in Thailand last week, I read about the Thai prime minister saying the Burma dictators' decision to keep pro-democracy leader Aung San Suu Kyi under detention was justified. I was disgusted by that and now I feel almost equally disgusted with our own prime minister, after a Kyodo News report that Mr Koizumi failed to pursue the issue of her treatment during his meeting with the head of the so-called government, though a Japanese official claimed they agreed in broad terms on the need for 'Myanmar' to become democratic. I'll bet that had the generals shaking in their boots! Now don't go underestimating the power Mr Koizumi has over Burma, for with its usual regard for human rights, Japan represents almost 5% of Burma's exports and imports, especially illegally forested teak. So although Thailand has even more economic clout with Burma (most over 30% of Burmese exports), Japan is the most developed of Burma's trade partners -- especially since the US imposed a ban on all Burmese imports and a ban on provision of financial services in August 2003. So, as Japan is so fond of copying what America does, do I expect a ban on Japanese business with the dictators in Rangoon? Yeah, about the same time as Japan apologises for WW2 and elects a woman PM!

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Say That Again . . .

Not too long after I arrived in Japan, the Education Ministry ruled that schoolkids could have an occasional 5-day week. However, now that 2 international surveys have shown that the academic ability of Japanese students is declining, they are having second thoughts and are even considering switching back. As the Education minister said:
"The five-day school week system and decreasing school hours haven't necessarily brought good results."
If that means less kids with nothing to do but get into trouble, maybe he's right!

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Japanese TV often reports on the achievements of Japanese baseball players now working in the USA, but these are not the only Japanese to prosper in the New World, not at all.  Listen to one Kuniko Saito, who claims to have earned more than ¥10 million (US$95,932) in a single year spent in New Jersey -- working as a hooker!:
"For American men, a fair complexion with straight hair and black eyes is a fantasy."
 Glad to see that Japanese entrepreneurship is alive and well, even if it needs to go abroad to flourish!

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This might sound like the plot of a TV series but in Japan, there was until recently at least one private detective who specialised in revenge. His website boasted of his ability to disrupt weddings, break up friendships and social lives on an aggrieved person's behalf. As he said on this same website:
" It's a natural emotion to feel malice and hatred toward individuals who have trampled on your life." 
If he ever goes back into business, I can think of a few folk who I might like him to practice on . . .

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Despite the much neglected danger of AIDS, condom sales in Japan are declining. So what does the nation's leading condom makers blame this on? Well, according to a spokeswoman for Okamoto Industries, the reason is:
"Young people are learning about sex from adult videos which don't have scenes where the actors use condoms." 
Next thing you know, they'll have health warnings on porn videos and DVDs, or maybe that company should start sponsoring them! 

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One Japanese invention that has really become an international favourite is karaoke, with singers of varying to zero talent murdering songs the world over. But how did it begin? Well according to Daisuke Inoue, the inventor of karaoke:
"The driving force was my laziness, as it was hard to master new songs.'"
Seems he came up with the device while he was a fumbling keyboardist accompanying customers at a club in Kobe in 1971. So now you know!

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As has been reported on this page in the past, Japan's police seem to be cracking down on the vice trade here, but I am not the only one to be unimpressed by their efforts. As the director of the US State Department's Office to Monitor and Combat Trafficking in Persons recently said:
"Japan's entertainment visas are a sick joke." 
He explained that these visas are often blatantly exploited by crime syndicates to traffic women. As one who has seen gang heavies with groups of SE Asian ladies being treated very nicely at Immigration offices, I can easily believe it!

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As a teacher, I know full well how low the level of English usage and understanding is here. The number of those able to hold a conversation in English is remarkably low, even amongst college graduates and business people. I am alone in feeling this, as the president of Akita International University recently said, supporting his drive to have Japanese children start learning English in elementary school:
"Japan is doomed to become the non-English-speaking orphan of Asia."
It must be said that women here seem more keen on the benefits of learning the 'world language', but then, I would hate to imply that many Japanese men are reluctant to admit they are less than perfect.

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In a country where fathers play a very secondary role in child rearing, partly due to work pressure but also due to outmoded ideas of what makes a man, a recent move by a Gunma Prefecture municipal council came as a real shock, albeit a very welcome one. The city fathers of Ota City have ruled that from January 1st onwards, all male employees will be required to take 6 weeks of paid leave before their babies' 1st birthdays. Oh, and just in case they plan to spend those 6 weeks on the golf course, they will be expected to explain what they learnt. This move comes after the shocking disclosure that no male municipal worker in this industrial city north of Tokyo has ever taken leave after having a child. The reason for this admirable move is simple -- "We want to get men involved in raising children," a city official said, explaining there was "a persistent view in society that women should raise children." The city's male employees, who will be paid full salary, will take the leave a week at a time and will have to submit a report to the city on child-rearing afterwards. I hope that many other employers, both public and private follow this fine example -- but then again, I also hope for world peace!

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You know, I suppose that Japan's still refreshing lack of real crime must make some public prosecutors feel pretty bored, and maybe that explains the latest episode of the stupid punish unpatriotic teachers saga! If you've visited this page before, then you'll know that some teachers who object to being forced to use the recently adopted national anthem and flag at graduation ceremonies were punished and even dismissed. Well, the medieval idiots who run education here have taken things one step further. They've gone and indicted one! I kid you not. Katsuhisa Fujita, 63, a former Tokyo high school teacher, was indicted for allegedly urging parents against standing up to sing Japan's "Kimigayo" national anthem at a graduation ceremony in March, charged with obstructing official duty by force. Fujita taught at the Tokyo metropolitan government-run Itabashi High School in Itabashi Ward before retiring in March 2002 and was a guest at the ceremony. According to the indictment, he told the parents in the school gymnasium that he felt the graduation was "abnormal," referring to how "teachers are punished when they do not stand and sing the national anthem." "I ask for your understanding, and if possible, I would like to ask you to stay seated," he is alleged to have told the parents. The school and the incredibly hidebound Tokyo board of education subsequently filed a complaint with the Tokyo police. For those of you new to the 'Empty Seat' and this Kafkaesque saga, let me provide some background. In October last year, the board of education issued an order requiring all metropolitan government-run schools, including schools for the disabled, to display Japan's "Hinomaru" national flag and sing "Kimigayo" during enrolment and graduation ceremonies, adding that teachers who failed to comply with the order would be subject to penalties. Many have, with at least some justification, criticised this move, claiming it violates freedom of thought and conscience as provided for under Japan's often ignored Constitution. All I can say is that if the education authorities were as tough dealing with child molesters and other perverts within the teaching profession, Japan's schools would be a lot nicer places! 

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In the dictionary under scumbag, it says "see North Korea"! I mean, first they kidnap innocent Japanese citizens, then they claim that many of them died before they finally came clean and allowed some to return, and then, when asked for the remains of their deceased victims, they cheat! How low can you go! In case you haven't heard, this is the story. After scientifically testing cremated remains that Pyongyang claimed belonged to abductee Megumi Yokota, the Japanese Government announced that they were actually someone else's. As a result, Japan announced that it will suspend its promised food aid to North Korea and consider possible economic sanctions. Sending the wrong person's remains is bad enough, but the North went one step further, for the tests revealed that the remains contained the bones of 2 persons, neither of them Yokota! This 'mistake' has added to the abductee's parents conviction that their daughter is actually still alive. Her mother Sakie Yokota expressed relief that Megumi had not been confirmed dead, saying, "From the beginning, I thought they were totally different (from Megumi's). It was evident. I believe she is definitely still alive,". Also, a group representing the abductees families said the latest development should be a "wake-up call to people who had been wary about imposing sanctions" as it simply proves North Korea can't be trusted in negotiations. The allegedly dead lady was kidnapped in November 1977 at the age of 13, with Pyongyang claiming that she got married and lived with her North Korean husband and their daughter before hanging herself in 1993 -- a date it later changed to April 1994. They're not even good lairs!  
Footnote: With typical screw-you bravado, North Korea has rejected Japan's contention that the cremated remains are not those of Japanese abductee Megumi Yokota. An official of North Korea's Embassy in Beijing visited the minister at the Japanese Embassy in the Chinese capital, and said Pyongyang cannot accept Japan's assertion concerning the ashes. Now either Pyongyang thinks Japan is totally stupid, or maybe they just haven't heard of DNA! Either way, they make the old Iraq look like a model state!

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Afraid of flying? No? Well maybe this will change your mind. It was recently announced that Japan has begun deploying sky marshals — armed police officers — on board commercial flights to deter hijacking and terrorist attacks. The sky marshals, dressed in plain clothes, will board the plane like any other passenger but will carry guns equipped with special bullets that will not cause damage to the plane, it seems. Quite rightly, the National Police Agency does not plan to disclose which flights the officers have been placed on or the number of officers on board, but it seems the system began with officers deployed on a US-bound flight from Narita airport, although Japan had police officers aboard flights to and from South Korea during the World Cup soccer finals back in 2002. The 1,100-strong Japan Airlines Captain Association opposes the introduction of sky marshals, protesting that it was too hastily implemented. Still unafraid? The sky marshal plan is part of a package of measures drawn up by the government in an action plan designed to prevent terrorists from entering Japan. The action plan also includes measures to fingerprint and photograph all foreign visitors upon entry into Japan. That's OK, but as someone who (like every foreigner who stays here more than 90 days) has been fingerprinted, its what they do with those prints that bothers me!

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Here's something to ponder as you carve your festive fowl this holiday season. You see, chickens have acquired a whole new connotation here in Asia, and this dark side was underlined by the news that 5 people are believed to have been infected with the bird flu virus after an outbreak among poultry in Kyoto Prefecture last February. If this is confirmed, it would mark the first human infections from avian influenza in Japan. Still fancy a chicken dinner? Tests on the suspects revealed an antibody to the bird flu virus but not the virus itself, which may or may not be of some comfort. The offending outbreak led to some 240,000 chickens and 20 million eggs being destroyed at a couple of Kyoto farms, but it seems the story isn't yet over. Now just as the BSE panic didn't lessen my lust for Japan's delicious yakiniku cuisine, so you shouldn't expect this story to make me change my yuletide habits. After all, I had chicken for dinner just last night, so if I'm going to sicken with this virus, it's probably too late to worry about it now. So whether these cases are confirmed or not, your humble scribe will remain a dedicated non-vegetarian for a good long time to come!

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In closing, let me congratulate a Japanese who has made it into the Guinness Book of records -- and I don't mean that idiot who keeps eating more hotdogs and hamburgers than other equally pea-brained individuals! No, I am referring to 62-year-old Shumpei Yamazaki, the president of Semiconductor Energy Laboratory Co in Atsugi, Kanagawa Prefecture. This gentleman has managed to register more patents than even  US inventor Thomas Edison, which is quite a feat. This admirable gentleman, who developed the basic mechanism of flash memory, was recently inducted into the Guinness Book of Records by registering a total of 3,245 patents, compared with Edison's 2,332. Well done, sir! Nice to see that Japan's once famous talent for inventing hasn't died, but let's hope your fellow countrymen do their best to emulate your fine achievement!

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Gaijin's Tip:

'Now despite the Christmas illuminations lighting up every major shopping street in Japan, the 25th is just another day here -- though at least it's a Saturday this year! However, bear in mind that Christmas Eve has become a sort of supplementary Valentine's Day, with all the best restaurants being booked solid by courting couples. Similarly, don't expect much to happen between JC's alleged birthday and the New Year, which is Japan's No. 1 holiday.'
(For more like this, please visit the 'Gaijin's Guide to Living in Japan')

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Gaijin's Where-to-Go

'It's traditional to see in the New Year at a Shinto Shrine here, but unless you really want to experience a sardine's life, avoid the famous ones like Meijijingu -- where several million people will pop in over the holiday period! Why not check your neighbourhood, as there's bound to be a shrine of some sort nearby, and you won't have to queue for an hour to reach the prayer hall or to get your sacred sake, as folk do at the popular ones! Another popular custom is to go and watch the first sunrise of the new year. Good places for this include: Haneda International Airport Big Bird (03-5757-8283); Tokyo Tower (entrance to the special observation deck limited to the first 120 -- 03-3433-5111); Sunshine 60 Observatory ("Sky Deck" limited to the first 500 -- 03-3989-3331); Mt. Takao -- the sunrise view from the 485-meter high summit is truly exceptional. (0426-61-4151).'

(For more suggestions, check out the 'Gaijin's Guide to Enjoying Tokyo')