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Hey, my calendar tells me that spring is on the way (March 21st is the Spring Equinox holiday here') & for a sun-lover like me, it can't get here soon enough! The prospect of spring means the prospect of 'Hanami', when Japanese folk get together in parks & wherever to get drunk under the cherry blossom. Being the culturally aware chap I am, I shall be joining them -- for research purposes only, of course! If you believe that, then you're going to love the next few paragraphs, being the usual selection of the ol' Gaijin's slant on recent news here in Japan. Here we go, friends!



Serve & protect? As an ex-cop, I tend to be rather harsh when judging the performance of Japan's finest but like many cynics, I really wish they would prove me wrong sometimes. However,  that seems unlikely, especially with the news that 9 officers of the Kyoto prefectural police, including a station chief, have been indicted over the case of a drunk man who froze to death in police custody back in 1997. The men have already been punished, if you can call penalties like being suspended from duty for up to 4 months, reduced salaries & a reprimand punishment! The basis of their indictment is that they tried cover-up the poor drunk 50-year-old construction worker's death. It seems the poor sod died while lying without a blanket on the concrete floor of the unheated police garage, but somehow the official police report stated that he died inside a police patrol car. The one good side of the whole affair is that the matter came to light as a result of internal whistle-blowing, meaning that there are some real cops down there. However, 2 of the officers are said to have reported that they tried to protect the man; if that's their idea of protection, lord help us all! It's almost enough to drive you off the booze -- almost. 

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With Japan's economy getting close to 'Last Rites' time, a major problem here is the number of what is euphemistically called 'Non-bank financial institutions', otherwise known as loan sharks. Now I am not referring to some back-street operation -- these are up-front companies that advertise everywhere, making it seem like they are your fairy godmother! A local lawyer, Akemi Kon, recently wrote an article pointing out the almost ridiculous ease with which one can get seriously into debt with such companies, partly due to the remarkable naivety of the law. According to Japan's relevant laws, credit firms should only lend money only when requested, & not try to aggressively persuade folk to borrow. However, in reality, the adverts of these seemingly respectable loan sharks  actively encourage consumers to borrow way beyond the statutory lending limit of either 10% of the borrower's annual income or ¥500,000. As if that weren't bad enough, these parasites then engage in what they call 'procurement of relending accounts,' which means soliciting borrowers who have paid off their debts to borrow again. I kid you not! This excellent lady lawyer has urged the government to rethink the appropriate laws & to do something to stop these firms driving admittedly weak people into suicidal debt situations. Will such a change take place? Don't hold your breath, alas!

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As you doubtless know, the United States maintains a large garrison here in Japan, a garrison whose members do sometimes act stupidly & encourage anti-American feeling. However, such opposition has not made Washington think about withdrawing (thankfully) -- far from it! In fact, the Americans recently told Tokyo of its plan to reinforce its military forces in Japan to prepare for a possible emergency on the Korean Peninsula. Despite the feelings of some citizens, the Japanese government has welcomed the US plan. The exact details of the 'beefing up' are not too clear yet but it does seem to involve F-15 fighter bombers & U-2 reconnaissance aircraft, among others. Also, with the US carrier 'Kitty Hawk', normally based at the Yokosuka USN base, now en route to the Middle East, the US is considering sending the nuclear-powered carrier 'Carl Vinson' over from Hawaii. Now some of my fellow residents may not like this news but I for one am very relieved. With so much American firepower now gathered around the Gulf, & with the inmates running the asylum over in North Korea, I think Japan needs all the US protection it can get. There should be a big welcome mat out in the Pacific & even if the servicemen do stupidly break the law sometimes, it beats the hell out of having Pyongyang consider us an easy target!

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One piece of good news for commuters like me is that East Japan Railways (JR) will now resume selling alcoholic beverages at its train station & platform kiosks after a 2-year hiatus. The reason they suspended such sales was the number of drunken 'salarymen' who fell onto the tracks at JR stations, having tried to drink much more than they could or should. The ease with which many Japanese succumb to drunkenness is well known, of course, & you can't really criticise a guy because his body just doesn't handle alcohol well. However, you can criticise him when he keeps drinking way past the point of no return, especially when his misbehaviour stops other travellers enjoying a beer on the way home. However, having been reassured by JR that they will instruct clerks not to sell alcohol to those who appear intoxicated, we must now wait & see if salarymen have matured during the last 2 years. Does that sound a little too optimistic?

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As I said earlier, Japan's economy is deep trouble, despite the government's 'nothing to worry about' attitude. One sure sign of this is the latest statistics on suicide. Now Japanese folk are not influenced by the western view that suicide is shameful, but any increase is still very worrying. So hopefully someone in the government noticed that more than 30,000 Japanese took their own lives last year. There is even a website called 'Invitation to Suicide', where people contemplating ending it all can find others in a similar state of mind. This cheerful site came to light after the deaths a 26-year-old unemployed man & 2 unemployed women (24 & 22 years old) due to carbon monoxide poisoning in a Saitama Prefecture flat. Police believe that the 3 met through that web site, where the man had posted a message on the bulletin board, saying: 'I am looking for 2 women to commit double suicide with me. I am totally prepared to do it with you using a stove or sleeping pills in a sealed room. I only seek like-minded women.' Worryingly, he managed to find 2 women willing to die with him. A somewhat more imaginative suicide was carried out by a 54-year-old man (also unemployed -- coincidentally) in Toyama City. He tied one end of a rope around his neck & the other around a tree. He then drove his car, decapitating himself. However, one academic recently said it was misleading to blame it all on the economy. Professor Shizuo Machizawa of Rikkyo University believes that middle-aged & elderly people are reaching a turning point in their lives, leading them to question their values. after dedicating their lives to working very hard & loyally for their companies, their companies now go bankrupt. Enough to make anyone doubt whether there is any meaning to everything! As for their younger counterparts, they just get tired of facing a life that is increasingly tough. Even the one who can find work doubt whether working hard is the answer, looking at the elderly unemployed as good examples. When old folk give up hope, it's bad. However, when the young give up, someone somewhere should wake up & smell the coffee! 

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Diplomatic immunity may seem bad, allowing diplomats to break any law without automatic fear of punishment, but Japan has gone one further. It turns out that if you are a Japanese citizen, you can break any law overseas & then run  back here & know that you are safe -- I kid you not. This 'Japanese laws are the only ones that count' attitude has received some long overdue publicity due to the Fujimori case. Just in case you're not familiar with the story, Peru is seeking to prosecute its former president Alberto Fujimori on charges of murder, kidnapping & embezzlement. However, revealing more than a little sense of guilt,  Fujimori-san fled to Japan in November 2000 & took Japanese citizenship shortly afterwards. Note that -- when he fled, he was NOT Japanese. No matter, for the Japanese constitution does not allow the extradition of its citizens, meaning they have catre blanche to do what they like when overseas. This is despite the fact that Interpol (of which Japan is a member) has passed on a Peruvian request that Mr Fujimori be arrested to Japan. Now before anyone claims that the charges against this hero are political, let's take a look at them. The charges against the ex-president relate to a 1991 massacre in which an army 'death squad' allegedly killed 15 people at a barbecue in a poor Lima neighbourhood & a 1992 massacre in which 9 students & a professor with suspected leftist links were killed. Imagine if a gaijin did that in Japan & then fled to America or Europe. Would Japan seek extradition? In a heartbeat! However, like so many other things, this appears to be a case of one law for us & a different one for you. To add to Japan's shame (if this government knows that word), Germany, Costa Rica, Italy, Spain & several other countries have said they would detain Mr Fujimori if he attempted to enter their territories. But not Japan. Therefore, if you are planning to rob or murder anyone in another country, forget fleeing to South America. Just take out Japanese citizenship (before or after the crime) & then flee here when you're done. You'll be as safe as houses!

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However, not everyone in Japan is immune from the authorities, especially if they're fish & especially if they're foreign fish! I refer to the reason for the recent draining of the Ushigafuchi moat around Tokyo's imperial palace. You see, they are on a 'seek & destroy' mission against some evil American aggressors, namely the black bass & bluegills. Seems these creatures have taken over that moat & are eating the native species who once dominated that water. In fact, a recent survey showed that these gaijin fish now represent 99% of the fish in that moat! These gaijin, ah! Being the insidious little devils they are, these invaders have come to dominate 8 of the 13 moats & are especially fond of the goby, a species that Emperor Akihito, a noted ichthyologist like his father, has been studying for years! However, I shouldn't call them invaders, for some of these Americans came here as honoured guests. OK,  the black bass are believed to have been introduced by an American businessman back in 1925 but not so the bluegill. This little troublemaker is alleged to have been introduced by -- wait for it -- the then Crown Prince Akihito, who had been given some by Richard Daley, who was then mayor of Chicago! In case you're wondering why they don't just go fishing for the offenders, they can't -- the moat is too full of litter, including the ubiquitous discarded bicycle! So much for imperial respect! 

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Say That Again . . .

Women commuters often suffer the criminal indignity of being molested by pathetically perverted male fellow passengers. The railway company JR West, which covers the region including Osaka, tried to help by introducing women only carriages. However, Japan's salarymen showed their usual sensitivity & totally ignored the signs, which led a polite but frustrated JR spokesman to comment:


'We want people to accept the idea of women's-only carriages and ask men for their cooperation and understanding'

Dream on, pal! The way many folk drive here shows how much good relying on good behaviour does.

On a slightly more light-hearted subject, Japan's video game industry has been suffering a fall in demand recently. The reason is simple -- they have discovered sex. As one 23-year-old so wisely put it:

'When you're in your 20s, you become much more interested in a girlfriend than staying at home with your video game set.'

Another quote that caught my eye in a nice way came from a lady named Chie Mitsuzaki, one of Japan's many hard working sex industry workers. Her daughter has decided to enter the same ancient profession & the mother's comment was:
'I thought it was my daughter's way of showing respect for what I'd done.'
 Nice to see youngsters following in the footsteps of their parents, don't you think

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Murder may be pleasingly rare here but when they do occur, they can sometimes be somewhat 'colourful.' Take, for example, the recent arrest of a 44-year-old Osaka woman (together with her brother) for murdering her husband, dismembering his body with an electric saw & then dumping his remains into the sea. The case goes back to last November, when police found a severed human head (the only part found so far) floating on the shore in Osaka Bay & managed to identify the owner as the president of an Osaka electrical appliance store. Although she denies the charge (unsurprisingly), police claim that the 2 siblings dismembered her dead husband's body with an electric saw inside a warehouse before loading the body parts into a car & then dumping them into the sea together with the electric saw from a carpark near an expressway. The widow didn't exactly act wisely after the deed was done -- she promptly cancelled his insurance policy & received several million yen for premiums paid. However, she didn't file a missing person report until more than 3 months later.

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Talking of child prostitution (as we were last month), the arrival of the internet here has added to this much ignored problem. The National Police Agency (NPA) has reported that the number of Internet-based child-prostitution crimes in Japan rose  from 117 to 268 in 2002. They reported that most of the child prostitution was related to online dating services, closely followed by internet child-pornography crimes; last year, police dealt with 140 cases of Internet sales of child pornographic photos, an increase of 12 from 2001. I am no expert (honest!) but I am told that the central Tokyo district of Kanda is almost the world's capital for child porn & despite Japan's strange pornography law (bestiality is OK but no pubic hair may be shown), this claim to fame is unlikely to diminish in the near future, especially with the economy likely to drive many young girls into the wrong hands. However, don't get the idea that the government isn't reacting to this problem -- or at least to the adverse publicity! They have now endorsed a bill banning sex with those aged 17 or under, or soliciting dating for money using Internet dating sites. Offenders will face fines of up to ¥1 million (US$8,450). The proposed law will require web sites that provide online dating or matchmaking services to post a notice that minors are not allowed. Operators of such sites will also have to confirm the age of the users. Then again, don't get too excited, as Japan already has plenty of laws that buried in dust from being totally ignored!

On a vaguely related subject, whereas most companies here remain intractably Japanese, at least the sex industry is truly internationalising. Proof of this came after Tokyo & prefectural police departments raided a total of 24 striptease establishments & made 82 arrests, including 59 Colombians, 4 Filipinos & 2 Chileans. Pretty cosmopolitan, ah? What's more, they go to a lot of trouble to employ such an international workforce, with the going rate for getting a girl past airport immigration officials into Japan ranging from ¥4 to 5 million (US$34-42,000). In return, they get a very non-unionised workforce, who work from 1 p.m. to 11 p.m. for only ¥130,000 yen (US$1,108). Even if they take customers into a cubicle for sex, they only get ¥1,000 a go -- or so I'm told. The smart ones do make more then the Yakuza-run streetwalkers , by arranging private dates with regular customers, but even so, as the girl has to pay back that ¥4 to 5 million to her 'employer', ¥1,000 per customer means a lot of overtime!

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Now many folk claim that the government is doing nothing to help secure the future of Japanese pensioners, but they are -- in a way. Oh yes, they are trying to cut the pension Mr average will collect when he retires (by opposing as government plan to increase the government subsidy for pensions), but they have made very sure that no politicians will need to worry about his later years -- not including the pensioners who are actually in the government, of course! Politicians' pensions are surprisingly (maybe not) high, considering the state of the economy. If you get yourself elected to the Diet (or inherit the seat from your father), & you manage to stay there for just 10 years, then you can expect a minimum pension of ¥4 million (over US$34,000) -- about 20 times higher than 'Average-san.' However, it is 'Average-san' that pays for around 60% of that fat pension. Remember, now, that this is under Mr Koizumi, the man who asked the nation to bear the pain of his reforms -- obviously he didn't include politicians! Not surprisingly, this unequal distribution of the 'pain' has led to a falling approval rating, down from over 80% to less than 50%. Koizumi has reacted by attempting to cut national pension payments by about a ¥2,000 cut a month for the standard recipient family. Pardon me?  Did I miss that part of the 'How to win friends' course? The sad thing is that whoever replaces Koizumi-san will be VERY unlikely to act any differently!

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Following that Korean subway fire, many folks reassured themselves by reflecting on how safe Japan's subways are. Sadly, Japan's reputation for safety has taken a real battering! Of the 5 Japanese cities that have subway systems, a Ministry of Land, Infrastructure & Transport report identified over 150 subway stations as being unsafe, failing smoke control safety & evacuation route requirements. This followed emergency inspections on fire-prevention measures at 574 stations of 11 subway operators nationwide after the fatal subway fire Tuesday in South Korea. The worst offenders were Tokyo's Teito Rapid Transit Authority (TRTA), which 47 sub-standard stations (smoke-wise) & the Tokyo metropolitan government's 'Bureau of Transportation' with  24. That must really comfort all my fellow Tokyo residents. However, if your commute is via the city-operated subway lines in Sendai, Kyoto, Kobe & Fukuoka, or the line operated by the Saitama Railway, rest easy, as they all passed on both counts. However, as if to comfort us now nervous commuters, an official noted that Japanese subway trains are flame-resistant -- but there could be problems if an explosive, flammable liquid was spilled & ignited, like in Korea. After all, when the Kyodo News agency conducted its own survey, it found that 22 subway stations in Tokyo & Yokohama had only one emergency evacuation route. Feel like taking the bus, anyone?

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For a foreigner to get even a menial job with their local government is very difficult indeed but one prefectural governor seems to genuinely want to change things. I refer to Yasuo Tanaka, governor of the mountainous Nagano Prefecture, who has asked his board of personnel to do away with the nationality clause for hiring people for most prefectural posts, thereby allowing foreign citizens to reach managerial positions. Although some other prefectures (like Kochi & Osaka) have eliminated the nationality clause for hiring, they still prevent foreigners to occupy managerial posts, in line with the central government's view that only Japanese citizens can hold positions involving exercising public authority and making public decisions. Therefore, if his suggestion becomes official policy, Nagano will be the first Japanese prefecture to allow foreign citizens to hold managerial positions. At present, it seems that 30 of the 53 types of prefectural government employment are covered by a nationality clause, whereas there is no such clause for the remaining 23 types of work, including medical & social welfare positions

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Who said perverts couldn't help their fellow man? It was recently reported that one Chisato Okabe had been presented with a certificate of appreciation from The International Refugee Support Association for her efforts to collect funds on behalf of orphans in Afghanistan. However, the source of her income is the 'Royal SM Club Meguro Labyrinth', which as (as you can see at the website) is dedicated to satisfying practically any urges any customer might want to try. Members can experience such perverted delights as bondage, spanking, enemas, vibrators (front or rear), candles, dominance, humiliation, costume play, story play, etc — for ¥30,000 for the 1st hour or ¥150,000 for an 'all nighter'. However, respect where it's due, for Okabe-sen is a self-made lady. She originally left her salaried job to operate a small bar in Kyoto, but later fell heavily into debt, whereupon she began working at a Tokyo SM club to repay her debts. She later became the owner of the Meguro Labyrinth 6 years ago, undertaking volunteer work for worthy causes a year later. 'We've got 30 girls working here, all young & pretty," she commented. 'The notion that the women who work SM clubs are middle-aged hags is old hat.' Whatever you may think of her business, you certainly have to hope her charitable example is followed by other Japanese businesses, especially with regard to Japan's own needy.

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Japan's Crown Prince & his immaculately educated wife are well known, as is their young daughter, Princess Aiko. What they do not yet have, however, is a son, placing the succession in doubt. As a result, some people claim that Japan is secretly preparing for a momentous legal change that would allow Princess Aiko to become the first reigning empress since Go-Sakuramachi, who occupied the throne from 1762 to 1770. 'The Times' of London quoted a senior palace source in Tokyo as saying that concern about the lack of a male heir has forced the Japanese court to begin studying the possibility that Crown Prince Naruhito may be succeeded by his 1-year-old daughter. Needless to say, the mostly rather aged senior officials of the Imperial Household Agency have denied considering any changes to the emperor system, but even they are said to have admitted unless the Crown Prince has a son in the next few years, a public debate may begin. Such a change in the law may seem petty to many westerners, especially those living under a female monarch, but this would be a very symbolic boost for Japanese women, who remain very poorly represented in politics.

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As regular readers (there must be some) will know, I often seek to dispel the myth that Tokyo is crime-free. Well, now it's official. Violence & crime are increasing here. According to the Tokyo Metropolitan Police, groups of Asian criminals are breaking into homes & shops, & committing armed robberies without much fear of the law. They use construction equipment to scoop up ATMs out of buildings, steal cars to be shipped abroad & hold up convenience stores. They even pillage police boxes! In recent years, the various nightlife districts have become freefire zones. Just last year, a yakuza gangster was killed & another wounded by gunfire in Shinjuku's infamous Kabukicho district. The police report that crime statistics here have risen for the last 7 consecutive years. 'Reported crimes last year exceeded 2.85 million. The overall clearance rate (for arrests & prosecution of crimes) has fallen from around 60% during the 1980s to the 20% level. The police have reached their limits — they're so busy working on paperwork for trials, they don't have time to investigate new crimes.' (Sure enough, most times when you see a policeman here, he's bent over a desk doing paperwork!) What's more, this crime wave is having an effect -- Japanese are leaving Japan & I mean for keeps. The Nikkan Gendai newspaper recently reported that as of October last year, a record 874,715 Japanese live abroad, up 37,000 year on year. This represents a growth rate that far outstrips Japan's birth rate, & a Ministry of Foreign Affairs report said that if this continues, the number of Japanese living abroad might pass the 1 million mark by 2006. So where are they going? Well, not surprisingly, number one on their list is the USA, followed by the less obvious Brazil & China. Of course, the main reason they're leaving isn't the crime wave, it's the sinking economy but there is a link -- the government hasn't the faintest idea of what to do about either problem. As they used to say back in the UK, 'Will the last person leaving England please turn off the light.'

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Lastly, it might interest some of you to know that this bizarre city I call home now has a record population. According to the Tokyo metropolitan government, my hometown now has 12,289,519 residents, an increase of 11,805 from a year earlier -- the 7th such straight rise. Obviously life here isn't that bad after all! One reason is that due to lower property prices, it is becoming relatively affordable to live in Tokyo now. Even in central Tokyo, the combined population of the 3 central wards of Chiyoda, Chuo & Minato (which includes me) rose to 283,329, almost back to its pre-'Bubble Era' level. As for we gaijins, the number of registered foreign residents in Tokyo rose to 344,221, also for the 7th straight year. The largest foreign community was the Chinese, followed by Koreans & Filipinos. However, the Indian community experienced the highest increase rate at 13%. See what an interesting & attractive place Tokyo is? Well, sort of!

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Gaijin's Tip:

'Residents & visitors may have noticed that that cigarette & beer vending machines seem to turn off late at night. This is officially to 'protect minors.' However, don't let the rows of red lights fool you -- some still operate if you try them.'
(Taken from the 'Gaijin's Guide to Living in Japan')

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Gaijin's Where-to-Go

'Soon after this goes online, it will be time for 'hanami', the traditional cherry blossom viewing parties. If you want to get a nice view of the short-lived sakura, here are some places you might like to check out: