Beside The Empty Seat

ISSUE: September/October 2002

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This Month's Topics:

	Beckham's 'groupies' give sick a new meaning!
	It's not just the Catholics
	New use for Tokyo Dome
	Oldies need loving as well . . .
	Shock! Japan's jails criticised!
	So they did try Germ Warfare?
	STDs on the rise amongst teens
	You mean Betamax was a flop?
	The 'Loyal' Japanese worker
	We naughty foreigners

For me, the story of the month has to be a Japanese official admitting that the Imperial Japanese Army didn't act like missionaries in China! In case the news didn't reach your neck of the woods, the Tokyo District Court admitted in August that Japan had conducted germ warfare in China during World War II. However, the judges were not too radical -- they still dismissed the Chinese claim for compensation for Japanese atrocities. Nonetheless, this did mark the first time any official body has acknowledged that the notorious Unit 731, Japan's answer to Dr Mengele, did conduct such inhuman 'experiments.' The Unit is already well know, unofficially, as mentioned in last month's 'Empty Seat' but this particular presiding judge went so far as to state for the record that 'the evidence shows that the Japanese troops, including Unit 731 & others, used bacteriological weapons under the order of the Imperial Japanese Army's headquarters & that many local residents died.' Let's see the boys in the black sound trucks & the farcical paramilitary uniforms (Japan's looney right wing) get around that! However, it must be said that Japan isn't the only 'bad guy' in this matter. The evil creatures who ran Unit 731 escaped into rich obscurity after the war, thanks to the US Military swapping their knowledge of germ warfare for a clean escape. The Russians, who caught many of the lower ranking Unit members, managed to get such information without bribery, & so excuses that they 'did what they had to do' just don't hold water. What are the odds that we might live long enough to see the Japanese government admit what happened in WW2? How high can you count?

The Japanese are often accused of many things but stupidity isn't often one of them. However, what do you call a bank robber who asks the police for advice on robbing banks? I kid you not! 47-year-old Hisao Hosokawa had been wandering around the streets of Muroto, Kochi Prefecture with an axe & box cutter. However, on his way home, he showed up at a Koban (police box) & finding there was no police officer there, placed a call to the local police station from the police box. Not surprisingly, the police took Hosokawa in for questioning & put him on arrest on suspicion of preparing for robbery. So why did he act like that? 'I'm out of a job & I'm having a hard time,' he allegedly said. & why didn't he actually rob a bank? Because he feared injuring bank employees!

Talk about taking a long time to get the message. Sony has just recently announced that it will cease production of its Betamax VCRs, which have long been a byword for business mistakes. The Betamax was first introduced over 27 years ago & when Sony thought it could hold out against the VHS (another Japanese invention, by Victor Company of Japan) format, the world's consumers proved them wrong. However, stubbornness has seemingly reached it's limit so sayonara Betamax -- better luck next time!

Women making sacrifices for the man they love can be touching but trust some Japanese ladies to take it too far! When English footballer David Beckham, him with the cruelly named son, came here for the World Cup, he soon became flavour of the month, if not year. Well, even 2 months after the Cup ended, women are still signing up to go on tours to England to watch DB play in the Premier League -- as if they gave a hoot about football! Now such tours are not cheap, averaging around ¥250,000 (over US$2,100 or £1,300) a head (including a stadium tour where 'pilgrims' can see lockers, dressing rooms & corridors). So how can women afford such a holiday? One young office worker now has a part-time job at a nightclub in Roppongi (Tokyo's red-light district) three nights a week to pay for her trip to England. What's more, this young idiot has broken off her engagement, claiming that 'I couldn't have followed Beckham around during the World Cup if I had married him.' She even blamed it on the poor chap, telling her parents he had been unfaithful! Another Beckham groupie has become a call girl in the far northern city of Sapporo (where England had a game with Argentina). Her 'ambition' is to go to England & work as a call girl there! Other examples include a Setagaya (western Tokyo) housewife who now sleeps with her English instructor, to improve her English (she even calls him Beckham during their get-togethers). Lastly, & most sickeningly, there is the girl who stayed at Beckham's hotels in Japan & licked the toilets he might have used! She said. 'If I meet his wife Victoria, I will ask her to leave him.' She's got more chance of playing for Man. United herself!

On a story that might be considered related to Beckham's help in recruiting more hookers in Japan, the Internet & its many chat rooms are being blamed for an increase in sexually transmitted diseases in Japan. Another factor is the rise in teenage prostitution, inspired by the desire for brand-name handbags & accessories, etc. Like many problems here, this one has long been hushed up but a periodical well known for breaking such stories, the Shukan Post, recently interviewed a gynaecologist in the aforementioned Roppongi red-light district. Dr Tsuneo Akaeda offers free weekly consultations to young women, often meeting them in fast-food restaurants to make things seem less clinical. As an experiment, the good doctor arranged to check 300 teenage girls selected at random on the street. The infection rate turned out to be a 'remarkably high 80%.' Not surprisingly when one considers the average teenager, ignorance is a big problem. Dr Tsuneo reckons that fewer than 10% insist that their partner use a condom. What's more, as they exactly limited the nature of their actions, it is, as he said. 'natural for STDs to be increasing like they are.' What's more, there's no shortage of new recruits. The doc claims he quite often hears girls saying something like 'Well I've graduated from high school, so now I'll start work as a masseuse in a ''soapland'' & start making some real money.' & don't forget what sort of open sewer Roppongi is. Rapes & abductions are becoming regular occurrences, & there are several different mafias (Japanese, Russian, Nigerian, etc.) to pay off. That explains why in over 10 years of living here, I've been to Roppongi 3 times -- too often!

Now life in Japan can make one feel a little short-tempered, & so it can often feel SO tempting to smack the cabbie who ignores you for a Japanese fare, or the idiot who rides her bike into you because she's too busy with her mobile phone. However, before striking out, pause. This much read (?) periodical has previously dealt with Amnesty International's criticism of Japan's Immigration jails. Now it's the turn of the regular jails, & the critic is a Japanese -- a criminology professor at Meiji University in Tokyo! So before you throw that cyclist through a window, think about the following facts of life in a local jail:

The Professor rightly claims that such an environment does nothing to rehabilitate offenders, especially young offenders, but it doesn't scare them off either. A recent government survey showed that 52.5% of male prisoners in Japan in 2000 were serving at least their 2nd prison term, & 30% of these had been imprisoned more than five times. What's more, before anyone thinks that the brave professor is a lone voice of criticism, it is worth noting that the United Nations' human rights committee has regularly urged Japan to improve its inhumane prison conditions. What makes this worrying even to a hard line 'hit-'em-hard' ex-cop like me is the 95% conviction rate in Japan's courts, giving the Police an sure fire way to lock up anyone who doesn't seem right. So is it really worth ramming that mobile phone up her nose?

How times have changed! Many outsiders think of Japanese as being dedicated workaholics but a recent British survey of the world's 10 major economies suggests that Japanese employees have the lowest level of commitment to their companies. The survey, which canvassed 362,950 employees in 10 countries, found that 50% of Japanese said they would like to stay with their current employer or would recommend it as a good place to work. The researchers (plus quite a few Japanese) credited this to the 'Westernisation' of Japanese attitudes & a continuing stagnant economy. Even more surprising is the list of nations rating higher than Japan -- Brazil (79%), Spain (76%), Germany (74%), Canada (73%), Italy (70%), the United States (67%), France (67%), Britain (59%), & China (57%). Many of us remember that not too long ago, Japan's workers' commitment level & morale were almost legendary. This may be connected to the impending end of 'lifetime employment', & the feeling that one's company gave a damn about you! Maybe now would be a good time for Japanese employers to remember that loyalty is a two-way street, or the job scene here will get closer & closer to the West.

Boy, will this please all the right-wingers & those who still believe in this 'land of the gods' bull -- & they're out there, believe me! Anyway, imagine the joy this cretins felt when they read official proof that we 'Gaijin' (foreigners) have been getting more naughty. National Police Agency (NPA) statistics show that the number of crimes committed by non-permanent resident foreigners (that rules me out) in the 1st six months of 2002 jumped 25.8% from a year earlier to 15,424. Amongst the naughty deeds we've been increasingly committing are car-related crimes, vending machine vandalization & shoplifting. May not sound like much but to some of the aforementioned cretins, it'll be close to justifying another period of isolation like during the early Edo period, when Japan cut itself from the whole outside world. You think I'm kidding?

Japan is famous for its increasingly aged population & Tokyo's pimps are astute enough to recognise the business possibilities of this situation. Over in Shinjuku's red-light district, there is a new service that might be called a 'date coffee shop,' where guys can meet prospective hookers over a cup of coffee before making taking her to a nearby love hotel. However, the first special thing about this venture is that most of it's clients are men over 50; special point number 2 is the 'ladies', most of whom are in their 30s & 40s, & are mainly housewives or unwed mothers. Such ladies can't work late at night, hence the owner's decision to have a coffee shop rather than a bar. In case you're over 50 & feeling frisky, you'll need an entrance fee of ¥3,000, which entitles you to sit & order coffee or even alcohol for as long as you like. If you spot a lady you find 'appealing', you can request a "date" with her on the spot. The atmosphere is said to be very relaxed & to keep it this way, younger men are not allowed in. This slant towards older guys has made the place very popular -- with the girls, who seem to appreciate the lack of 'horniness' that characterizes so many young guys who normally patronize sex business places. As a result, there's been no shortage of available females seeking work there & it's not just the money, either -- it's often the sad lack of sex at home. So husbands -- & wives -- beware. If they can't get it at home . . .

In Japan, political corruption seems to have reached the same standing as wet National Holidays in the West -- we hate it but what the hell! So I doubt if it registered much when a former bureaucrat from the Prime Minister's Office admitted that he had accepted a lump-sum retirement payment of ¥88 million (that's over US$740,000 or over £480,000). When asked if he thought, considering Japan's present economic slump, that it was excessive, he said:

The Catholic Church is reeling from a scandal overload but it isn't the only religion with some skeletons in its cupboard. Here in Japan, Kanagawa Prefecture Police recently arrested a Buddhist priest & TV personality who is said to have forged private documents to assume the presidency of a religious corporation -- a potentially very lucrative position. That may not be as bad as child molestation but then the Buddhists are more practical than the Vatican -- Buddhist priests can marry!

Lastly, to finish on a pleasant note, there is a covered baseball stadium near Suidobashi in Tokyo called the Tokyo Dome. You don't have to know it to guess how big it is, right? Well now imagine such a stadium filled with beer. Nice thought, ah? Well it turns out the world's production of beer would be enough to do just that! Believe it or not, the world's brewers created 142.27 million kiloliters of beer & low-malt beer last year, an increase of 2.2% & the 17th straight yearly rise. Somebody at the Kirin Brewery Co (who desperately needs to get out more) worked out that this is enough to fill Tokyo Dome 115 times. The largest brewing nation was the US (though some might argue about the definition of beer), with 16.4% China, followed by Germany, Brazil & Japan. It seems that using a 10-year scale, world production is up 23.1%, with production up 2.7 times in China & 4.3 times in Thailand. However, output in the U.S., Germany & Britain went down, Kirin said. So it seems that we won't run out in the near future at least..

'Using the buses here is easier than it looks. You can usually get an English language bus route map from your local Ward office & buying a pre-paid bus card is much cheaper than paying cash every time. These cards can be bought from the driver for ¥1,000, ¥3,000 or ¥5,000.'
(Taken from the 'Gaijin's Guide to Living in Japan')

'The summer won't be here much longer so get out & about while you can. If you feel like visiting a temple, why not try the Jorenji Temple, which possesses Tokyo's very own daibutsu (big Buddha). This temple, which was popular with the ruling Shoguns from the 1600s onward, is open 8-4.30pm most days. Nearest station is Narimasu (Tobu Tojo line) For more information, call 3975-3325.'

Miss last month's 'Empty Seat'? Not to worry. You can check out the Gaijin's previous ramblings as easily as clicking below.

Well, with the bizarre logic of bureaucrats, Japan has two long weekends in a row during September, so this month should by quicker than most. Summer is coming to an end but the onset of winter also means the arrival of the rugby season, one of Japan's best kept secrets! On that happy note, I shall love you & leave you. Here's hoping the next month is a good one fro you & don't forget that if you've got some time on your hands around the middle of October, you'd be most welcome to come & check out the Gaijin's latest moans. Whether you do or don't, take care & may the wind be always at your back.

Don't forget: If you want to know when the next 'Empty Seat' is online, or you just want to contact the ol' Gaijin, you can always use the Guestbook link just below. Everything will be read & then . . . Well, we'll see!

Regular travellers on Japan's buses & trains know that the seat next to a foreigner will
usually remain empty, even during the rush hours. This can rankle at first but should really be seen as a relief in a place where space is hard to find. It is also amusing to see a tired 'salaryman' torn between sitting next to a foreigner or remaining on his feet!

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